Would anyone like to do my job for me while I screw around for the next few weeks? I am prepared to reward you with karma points. Lots and lots of happy, happy karma points. Additional karma points can be earned by cooking hot meals and serving them to me while I am piled beneath warm, cozy blankets on the couch.
Cold hard cash will be paid to anyone who invents a book holder/pageturner which does not require the use of my hands, or a mouse that points and clicks simply by blinking one's eyes.
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It's hard to type the word karma without recalling an incident some years ago which involved a former hippyish friend and her little boy. (clarification: former friend, probably still hippyish.)
The boy was running around tearing up my house in classic wild-child style, when suddenly he fell down and started crying. She leaned over him and said, You see? Do you see what karma does to you!?
We weren't friends for much longer after that.
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Which brings me to a grammatical question: if hippies are the plural form, is the singular form a hippie or a hippy? Or are there no single hippies, preferring to congregate in groups?
I'd like to think that the hippies wouldn't mind either spelling.
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I think it's easy to see how my desire for rest and repose quickly degenerated into a discussion of hippies and karma. Let me show you the math:
{(My)(Comfort)/x} = {(Your)(Karma)/x}
where x represents a real number, positive integer, or fraction thereof:
(%percent)(x) is a function of: {(hippies)/(friendship)} + {1/(grammatical doubts)}
where, as friendship decreases, this value approaches infinity; however, if the number of hippies similarly decreases, this value approaches one. It's what we in the biz call an inverse relationship.
Got it? Therefore, hippies are mathematically proven to be bad for your karma. Grammatical doubts, however, have very little impact.
Now, some pumpkin soup would be nice. Or some sort of chowder. A bisque would also be delightful.
Your next life is going to be great; I'm certain of it.
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